Joy of being nobody.
The Endless Ladder: Climbing to Nowhere - The Beauty of Being "Nobody" in a World of Pretenders
Cringe warning: We're diving deep into my high school-tier philosophy. It's a wild ride of introspection and maybe a few existential crises. This is how we get better. Welcome the cringe – it's all part of the growth journey.
Struggle porn is everywhere. Why do we struggle? Be the struggle with living costs or mounting ourselves with hustle culture and more & more attitude. What is enough? When is it enough?
I used to be quite the hustler. I liked what I did, and I still do. I wanted to be the best. I don’t have that drive anymore. COVID stopped my business and myself. Looking back, I needed to stop, and I wanted to stop. I rambled to death about how the stop would come to everybody from COVID. Here, we are struggling.
The response to COVID by policymakers destroyed the “system”. Be it our financial system or institutions generally. It was already bad after 08, but we are heading to even more struggles from here.
The allure of the hustle
I liked to be on the top of my tiny niche, and everybody knew I was the best. I got the validation that I am not a nobody or a failure. The improving numbers drove me, be it hiring more people or closing more sales; I just wanted the numbers to go up.
Looking back, it was just pure stupidity:
I did not take any holidays (2 days of father leave when my daughter was born).
I had no social life or even family life, I think my family hated me back then…
I was not in the present; if I took a weekend off, I was just wondering where to get more sales or what to improve.
I needed the struggle; all my friends were struggling with their careers and advancing, and all my customers (small entrepreneurs) were hustling.
I put everybody else front before myself, customers, my workers, and suppliers, and last on the line was my family, and I gave zero fucks to myself.
Was it worth it? I don’t honestly know; for me, it feels like I am just starting my self-discovering or whatever fucking enlightenment journey. I hate myself looking back as a hustler - I want to be nobody. I can’t go back in time and make more time for things that truly matter.
The joy of the present moment.
My ability to do my business was removed from me when COVID-19 started, and everything was closed. I could not do anything. I took walks, started to do more gym, ate real food, read books, quit alcohol, began to swim in cold water, and SPEND MORE TIME WITH MY FAMILY. I was riddled with uncertainty - How the fuck do I know what goes in the head of stupid policymakers; are we open next week and then closed for another two weeks, or what the fuck? I can’t read minds or figure out what headless chicken will decide next.
I was forced to reevaluate my priorities.
Become immune to policymaker’s stupidity.
Spend more time with family.
Become a better human being.
I still go back and wonder occasionally, what if there was no COVID-19 - Where would my business be? Probably on the top, and I made a killing, so what? I would struggle even more.
I have not stopped working - I work on myself now. Be the best father and husband I can be. I can’t make more time, so I must be more present.
I did not stop the hustle - I am just starting it.
Being “Nobody”: A Liberating Experience
Our fucking world is constantly pushing us to get more recognition. The algorithms glorify the constant hustle and the struggle. Yeah, interest rates are up, and inflation is rampant, thanks to our stupid fucking policymakers. Not all entrepreneurs can be Elon Musk. Not everybody can be an influencer with millions of followers.
I want to be nobody.
Why do you want to be somebody? For what adopt the struggle? Live beyond your means and work 24/7 for what? To take more debt?
Do I get some small joking from my family and friends that I don’t own my house? Yeah, a little bit. If I compare myself to everybody who wants to be somebody, you must be somebody. I prefer freedom.
I get a little bit of slack from my workers, and some of my customers are scratching their heads about why he does not do more; he used to work more than the rest of us combined! I am not Elon Musk, and don’t want to be somebody. From now on, I take responsibility for myself and do not carry everybody around me.
My family came to visit my business and they wondered how it is so clean and tidy everywhere - Is it going bankrupt? That might be the case; I don’t struggle with it. So be it. I do something else. That’s life.
My friends must wonder how I spit this kind of shit around all the time to the point of annoyance. It’s part of the journey.
In chasing the illusion of 'somebody'’ I became my greatest adversary. I made the struggle.
Being nobody brings freedom from societal expectations. I did not stop working, I did not stop investing, I did not stop to develop myself. I put my focus on things that matter to me.
My income has dropped below what is considered “poor” in Finland. Do I feel poor? Can I Do the things I want? Do I struggle? If I compare myself to others, I am poor. Now, I should struggle because everybody else is struggling. It's in the freedom from the relentless pursuit of more.
Might the path to genuine self-fulfillment be found in the peace of being “nobody”? Every soul carves its unique path - but let's not be blinded by the futile pursuit of becoming what we're not and struggle.
Conclusion
Being nobody is not about giving up. It's about shedding the weight of external expectations and finding peace in one's journey. This piece does not bring any value to anybody anywhere; hence it is free, but for me, it is fun to write and brings some value to myself. What might seem insignificant to the world can hold profound meaning for the individual.
I am still searching for my “authentic self”, finding joy of simplest things and not wanting the number to go up, bigger houses, faster car, or what the fuck ever. It is never enough.
In the silence of “nobody”, I found my voice, my purpose, and my joy. And in that, I realized, lies the greatest wealth of all.
As you navigate your journey, ask yourself: Are you living by your script or one handed to you by the algorithms?
